Death holds no icy grip on my mind. I don't fear it since I literally faced it and begged for time while submerged in a swirling torrent of a river dam. I consider every year more of a prayer answered, having bobbed out of that river after a talk with God. My concern is, and my blog today is for my friend of 14 years who is dying a slow, agonizing creeping death. She's our yellow lab Sandy. Sandy came into our lives 14 years ago when my wife was about 3 months pregnant with my youngest. We figured that we would have 6 months to get her trained and somewhat comfortable with us as a family before we had another baby in the house. We were right, and things went just fine... She loved all and all loved her.
While born a natural hunter, she never had the pleasure of me gunning birds or rabbits for her when we hit the woods, she was/is a family dog, a fixture, a warm snuggling body to warm the feet or make you laugh with her expressions. She adjusted to the babies growing, slowly she slid down the pack of our family and takes orders from all (although she can test the younger still) now, that they all tower over her.
Her sandy tan hair is now more white than tan and she moves slowly and painfully (partially due to her 2 ACL rear leg surgeries that she had when she was 6&7). She no longer takes stairs more than 2 steps and her digestion makes me think of a wine fermentation gone horribly awry. We thought maybe she may die by thanksgiving, then Christmas, now I just don't know... When do you make the call? I've prepared the girls for the last 2 years... Educating them on the average 10-12 year life span of a lab. But I've got to make the call, that's what the "Alpha" does. In the wild, she would've died years ago, when she couldn't keep up, or defend herself. She's been pampered and has lived a life that most dogs would envy, and yet... Making the call is just so damn hard to do.
I've worked in a nursing home when I got out of the military and saw the end of many lives. The extensive methods to extend life were sometimes painful and other times needed to provide closure for a family. I've seen last words, heard death rattles and the time would always eventually come. But with a pet... Death doesn't come easy for an animal built to endure without cries, tears or complaints... death instead lingers and hovers until the call must be made to end the suffering, because dogs were bred to endure, but there is no need for it.
Weeks and months have gone by... I have suggested a 14th birthday party and then let her leave this world of (mostly) pain with me driving her to the vet. for anything but the usual vaccination... We'll see.
